Hidden rules, as defined by author and speaker Ruby Payne, are the unspoken rules of a group. Sports have hidden rules, as do religion, work, and economic class. Employees bring to work the hidden rules with which they were raised; these hidden rules often arise from the economic environment in which an employee lives.
From a business perspective:
If you dress sloppily as an employee, then I make a judgment about you.
From an employee perspective:
All my rules were from how I was raised, and my attitude was “take me as I am.” Now that I understand the hidden rules of stability, I need to understand the norm to be the norm.
Knowing the hidden rules of an environment provides versatility and power within that environment. When you break a hidden rule, you can appear to be dumb, which could lead a supervisor to think you were a bad hiring mistake.
I asked a group of entry-level, lower-wage employees to tell me what made them scratch their heads about management. Four themes emerged.
Hierarchy
Entry-level employees ask, Why is it that I can’t ask the person that I know has the answers? Why do I always have to ask my supervisor or manager, who then takes it up the chain of command?
As managers who live in stability, we understand the hidden rules of hierarchy in the workplace. It is understood that this is what we do to be successful.
Emails
Lower-wage workers ask, Why can’t you just take my word? Why do you have to follow up our conversation with an email?
When people live in instability, relationships are a driving force. It is expected to take someone at their word and not feel the need to send a follow-up email.
Meetings
In commenting on meetings, entry-level employees thought it wise to have a meeting, make a decision, and move on. They wondered why management has meetings, breaks out into subgroups, has more meetings, and then comes back again for another meeting.
When living in daily instability, like many of our lower-wage workers do, people live in the moment and solve problems all day long in a reactive way. Employees from this environment don’t live in a future-oriented world and don’t have the time or resources to prevent problems from occurring.
Budgets
The entry-level employees I talked with questioned why they earned only minimum wage while the boardroom was stocked with expensive beverages for board-of-directors meetings.
The expectations around food and beverages are different for those living in instability, stability, and long-term stability. In instability, what matters is having enough. In stability, liking the food and beverage offerings is important. And in long-term stability, presentation is the most important factor.
The more hidden rules employees know, the more mutual respect will exist in the workplace. When hidden rules are broken with coworkers, loss of respect and broken relationships can occur. A list of hidden rules is given in the book Workplace Stability, available at www.ahaprocess.com/shop.
